No Reason

There is no reason

There is no why

All I want is to curl up in a ball and cry

There is light

There is hope

Yet I keep sliding, spiraling down

I choke it back, swallow it hard

The voice in my head screaming “NO! No! No!”

The light hurts my eyes

My smile lies

The voice keeps screaming

Today I will rise, will put on that smile, will look out of dry eyes

All the time knowing

Feeling the numbness growing

From deep down inside

Without any reason, no discernable why

Tonight when I lay my head down

In the darkness, the quiet, alone with the silence

I will curl up in a ball and smother the cry